In Loving Memory of Danielle Bilanko
by John Bilanko
Today we gather to say goodbye and celebrate the life of our dear Danielle, beloved
daughter, cherished sister, devoted mother and treasured friend.
The loss of a child is a sorrow no parent ever expects to bear, regardless of age. Yet in
our grief, we find comfort in remembering the precious child who became a remarkable,
accomplished woman, loving mother, caring sister and loyal friend.
Danielle was a bright and playful child who loved birthday parties, Summers at the
pool and memorizing passages from her favorite Dr. Seuss stories before she could read.
She was persistent, determined to do everything her big sisters did, even when they
didn’t want her tagging along.
Throughout her life she had many accomplishments —- as an artist, graphic designer,
entrepreneur, baker, chocolatier, aspiring musician and recently, for fun, as a karaoke
singer and stand up comic — though none could compare to the birth of her adorable
children, Ewan and Sophia.
Years ago, when our family scone business was struggling she jumped in, without
hesitation, creating recipes, blending mixes, packaging product, designing packaging,
doing trade shows and meeting with Crate & Barrel executives in Chicago. There was
nothing she couldn’t or wouldn’t do.
The trade shows were an adventure. Packing the van, driving up and down the coast,
plus Reno in Winter and Las Vegas in Summer, trying to keep the business afloat. One
show that stands out was in Anaheim; low attendance and few sales, selling scones and
muffins surrounded by salsas and hot sauce. We even had to endure an awards banquet
after the show, where we were completely ignored, until the very end, when our muffin
mix was awarded the $10,000 Grand Prize. I will always remember the incredible smile
and look of surprise and joy that swept over Danielle when the announcement was
made; she was so happy and vindicated for all her hard work.
Ever the entrepreneur and always looking for bigger challenges, a few years later
Danielle seized the opportunity to manage a restaurant we were opening on the UCSC
campus. She took the lead in designing the space, creating the menu, developing new
recipes, hiring and managing staff and forging relationships with students and
university staff that enabled us to turn a start up venture into a million dollar business.
While Danielle had many accomplishments, she would be the first to admit that she
wasn’t perfect and would not want to be idealized or enlarged in death beyond what
she was in life. Danielle could be irreverent and demanding, in personal and business
relationships, with a fiery temper and little patience with those who didn’t measure up
to her standards. She was a force of nature, a fierce competitor, always looking for
adventures and challenges, seeking to live life to it’s fullest.
But in our quiet times together, particularly in recent days, we would talk about new
challenges and opportunities, family traditions, love for her sisters, healing past
relationships and, most of all, her hopes and dreams for her children. It is ironic that
Danielle always encouraged me to write letters to Ewan and Sophia so that they would
always have something to remember me after I’m gone.
In the end Danielle will be remembered as a kind and caring person who lived with
purpose, loved life and found her greatest joy in the lives of her children. Through them
we continue to see her smile, her kindness, her strength and her unwavering love. We
will carry Danielle with us always, honoring her memory by loving Ewan and Sophia
as fiercely as she loved them.
Love does not end with death. It lives on in our shared memories, in favorite stories, in
lessons passed from one generation to the next and in the hearts of those who loved her.
Though our hearts are broken and we miss her beyond words, we are thankful for the
immeasurable blessing of having known and loved her. May her memory be a source of
comfort, strength and inspiration for Ewan and Sophia and all whose lives she touched.
We will always love you Danielle. May God bless you and may you rest in peace.